I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and overloaded since the end of the summer. A lot of it is unavoidable – getting several appliances fixed in the house, work, the start of the kid’s school after six months – normal life is busy. I’ve really noticed how I’m feeling overwhelmed by the endless choice of media to fill my life with, and by the endless temptation to check incoming messages.
So I’ve set some rules, with the idea that they will generate a sense of freedom. I’ll try them for a month. Here they are, with further explanation below.
1. No series, only films. Aim for heartwarming and great films that improve life!
2. Check email twice per day only, and after creative or necessary work, not before. Not in the evenings or at weekends.
3. Whatsapp only twice per day, as above, and via the web… if possible.
4. Read the news very infrequently, once a day max, no doomscrolling or opinion pieces.
5. Ring more.
6. Social Media only for work, and on Thursdays.
7. Buy only important things, don’t read a million online reviews.
8. Podcasts for the car.
9. Follow a fixed daily routine.
10. A long walk a day helps me work, rest and play!
Here is an explanation of each rule:
1. No series, only films. Aim for heartwarming and great films that improve life!
I think I need a break from series for a while. They can hook you in for months, and often distract me from things I hold dearer, mainly reading books or just being quiet in the evening. Also, I’d like to watch the occasional very, very good film. The kind that can stay with your for weeks. The exception is Big Bang Theory and old episodes of River Cottage which we watch with our kids, and makes us all laugh a lot.
2. Check email twice per day only, and after creative or necessary work, not before. Not in the evenings or at weekends.
It is incredibly wonderful to check your email at say 5pm, think ‘that’s my second check for the day’, and know that it won’t enter your life again for the rest of the evening, or a whole weekend! Years ago I took email off my phone, which was a great start. The other point is to only look at email for the first time after I’ve done some creative or productive work. Nothing takes away the drive to get something good done like checking any kind of messaging system first.
3. WhatsApp only twice per day, as above, and via the web… if possible.
I would happily get a dumb phone but WhatsApp is what I use to arrange to see friends, happily communicate with my sisters and distant friends, plus my kids social, school and sports groups are organised there. So no dumb phone (I’ve dumbed down my smart phone as far as I can instead), and that’s OK, WhatsApp definitely enhances my life. What I can do is put it in with email – just twice a day, and if I do it via WhatsApp Web, it’s another reason not to pick up the phone. By the way, due to the nature of the beast, this is rule most likely to be bent, hence the “…if possible”.
(Thoreau echoes in my ears – “In proportion as our inward life fails, we go more constantly and desperately to the post-office. You may depend on it, that the poor fellow who walks away with the greatest number of letters, proud of his extensive correspondence, has not heard from himself this long while.” Change ‘going to the post-office’ for ‘checking email and WhatApp’ – from his essay Life without Principle.)
4. Read the new infrequently, once a day max, no doomscrolling or opinion pieces.
I’ve gone years without regularly reading the news at all, and found my life to be much calmer – the news nearly always affected my mood negatively. Since the pandemic started I’ve been reading it as infrequently as possible, often for vital information regarding our personal liberties – are we locked down or not? What can we do now? I’ve gained some insight into how the news works – a lot of it is presented to scare the hell out of us, or to manipulate our behaviour (stay in and see no-one vs. go out and spend). Now I can spot those articles fairly quickly. Also, I don’t read opinion pieces and whatever else isn’t really factual news – these writers cannot predict the future any better than we can! I’ve also noticed a lot of ‘drama’ posing as news – details of political infighting that is just soap opera and easy to get sucked into. And no doomscrolling, i.e. going down and down the page to consume more and more doom. Just the essential stuff above the fold. Once a day max, briefly, and as few days a week as possible.
5. Ring more.
I got this from the wonderful Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport, a joy of a book. When time permits and it seems like a nice idea, have a nice chat with someone very close to you, albeit brief, rather than filling their lives with more messages to read. Personal interaction is nice!
6. Social Media only for work, and on Thursdays.
I long ago ditched personal social media, especially on the phone, and it has only been a good idea. Having said that, we need it for work, but luckily I’m able to limit that to very quick posts on Thursdays. Post and go – don’t hang around looking at lots of other Social Media stuff! We are all fairly aware now of the manipulation involved in Social Media platforms – high-tech psychological manipulation keeps us in-platform as long as possible and returning to platform as often as possible to increase share value – and I think our time is vastly more valuable to ourselves than that.
7. Buy only important things, don’t read a million online reviews.
I get stressed when I spend ages reading endless reviews of things I might need to buy. Like with the bird feeders. Answer, stop buying stuff unless it’s really important, and don’t go mad with reviews.
8. Podcasts for the car.
Podcasts are great (of course I would say that, we earn our living with them!) I keep them for the return from the school run, or when I drive up to the mountains for a walk. (Usually when I drive back down from the mountains again I can’t consume a thing. Nature has filled me with peace, and I just want silence for the drive home.)
9. Follow a fixed daily routine.
I would like to exercise every day, I would like to meditate a little in the mornings, I would like to do a little creative work every day. It seems to me that people who manage to do the things they want to do, follow a routine, so I am refining one now. I will probably write more about it later.
10. A long walk a day helps me work, rest and play!
The very cornerstone of my routine, my mood, my happiness is the walk. This morning I went for an hour and a half walk in wild parkland near Madrid. When I got back my wife said, ‘You look taller, your back is straighter’. Walking in fresh air is good for me in innumerable ways. I’m practicing walking meditation again, Plum Village style, part of my great desire to have more inner peace. Of all the rules above, perhaps the walk should be held most sacred.
Notes from Ben 